We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
