he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
