Can i not drive my cunt home
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
