I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
