i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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