Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
