I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
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