:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
