I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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