just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
