can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
this just has baby written all over it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
