Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
