I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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