writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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