Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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