my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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