Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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