And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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