i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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