He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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