i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
