Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
