I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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