they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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