i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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