can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
