Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
