i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
