so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
