So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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