Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
