I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So squirting runs in the family.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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