if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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