I puked a lego.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
