I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
