waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
