Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
