Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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