Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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