There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
