Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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