Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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