she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
