so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
