The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
