I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
