yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
