Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
