id be glad to
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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