Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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